soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
