ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
