i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
