So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
