I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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