Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm at about main and main street
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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