how can u be prego again
Farmville is her only friend.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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