Barsexuality is the new black.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize