we have pet lesbian snakes
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
