You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
