maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
