It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
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