I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
