maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
