he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
