her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
