a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
