Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
