escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Randomize