SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
