i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
