his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I'm really busy with my period
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