just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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