I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
