Where are you?
In a non slutty way
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
