mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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