Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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