Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
