It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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