Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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