Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
