Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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