the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
