Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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