I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
