Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
