I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
