by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
