just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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