just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
