Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
