I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
