cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Randomize
