My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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