I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
