this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
