I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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