I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
