can u get pink eye on your cock?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
