My nipple is on Facebook.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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