I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
