She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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