I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
