but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
