he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
