Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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