It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
