I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
