I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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