Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
