did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
